How am I? Better and worse.
I mourn the loss of dreams I thought I'd given up long ago: being retired together, going out to dinner, arguing over politics, traveling the world, playing with our grandchildren, taking them on trips like my grandparents did with me.
I miss waking up in the middle of the night and being able to nudge his leg with my foot; even though he was totally dependent on me, he was a physical presence, the guy who stood by me for 44 years (our anniversary, June 10). I've been dreaming a lot about him. It's the real Bob in my dreams, the one with the confident smile and the wicked sense of humor.
I miss him all the time, every minute.
I'm getting better, but ... I'm getting worse.
Surprise (come along for the ride)!!
5 years ago